Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Scooters are "Gay"

Scooters are "Gay"


Your Scooter is so "Gay"


I have heard this jokingly from various people. But I never thought too much about it until the entire, "Ron Howard Gay Joke Debacle" occurring on the interwebs, specifically I shall reference an article over at Pajiba, Scathing Reviews, Bitchy People. I am sure there are other articles out there.

So Pajiba has a great article there about the entire brouhaha going down and Ron Howard's refusal to remove "the Joke" in his new movie. Which happens to be basically someone calling an electric car, "Gay".

Meaning men who drive electric cars are not as masculine as others??? I have heard the same of scooters. Hetro coworkers are quick to point out to me, how a gay co-worker also had a scooter at one time. However, Tim (hetro co-worker) and I (hetro graphic designer) also have scooters and still ride them. But the fact that one gay co-worker owned a scooter at one time now means that all scooters,(to them) are "gay".

But how can an inanimate object have a sexual preference? Oh, you mean, "Gay" as in the teenage vernacular of "fabulously stupid" or "insanely nerdy".

(I am not bothered when people use the word Gay to describe my scooter. Now don't go all crazy on me here... I understand that the goal is to be hurtful, to me and to Gay people. It is just that monikers/labels and curses do not affect me. If they did I would have opened a vein long ago! It is just a part of life. People LOVE to RAIN ON YOUR PARADE! Or Your own personal "GAY" PARADE.)

So I tell them, that by calling my scooter "gay" means you are acknowledging it's awesome power of FABULOUSNESS! An attribute that I, do not fear.

"No, we mean it is LAME!" They yell back, "Your scooter is LAME!"

"Oh, Lamé," I reply. "You mean like the Lamé fabric that is often used in evening and dress wear and in theatrical and dance costumes. I guess that is kinda right, it is pretty Lamé looking."

"NOOOO!" They start hopping up and down like brain damaged ticks, "You SUCK! You and your scooter SUCKS!"

" You say that like it is a bad thing." I reply with a smile.

"ARRRRGHHH!" They wretch, clutching their pencil-necked froats, and gasping they choak from their own stupidity and die.

So yes, my scooter is "GAY" It is FABULOUS! FLASHY! CREATIVE! FAST & EASY but NOT CHEAP! Just like its owner!

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