Wednesday, August 17, 2011

There are worse things than an Irked Jerk

This is for you, Nameless Jerk

Well, well, well, my riding compatriots. Do you all like how the world is going to hell in a hand basket? What with the London Riots, Flash Mob Hit Squads and general hatefulness of the human race? Can things get worse for us...Uh YEAH!

Open letter to the Jerk who deliberately tried to injure/kill me on my scooter the other day:

Dear C*ck Nozzle,

After repeatedly cutting me off and hitting your brakes on Route 53/ I-55 the other day... did you go home and tell your friends:

"Wow! I really messed with this girl on a scooter in rush hour traffic! It was great.

First - I almost hit her when I cut in front of her. Yeah! That was cool. But she beeped at me and went around me. That's when sh*t got crazy.

I went around her while she was turning right and cut her off! Yeah, while she was turning right, I went around her on the left and the cut her off! I hit my brakes and she almost hit my car! Hysterical!!!!

But that's not the end of it.... I then kept cutting in front of her and hitting my brakes.. In heavy traffic! It was AWESOME! I really kept dicking her over. But she finally got away from me so I had to just had to smile and wave goodbye. That will teach her to avoid getting hit by my car. Bi-otchs who beep better watch out when I drive! Take the hit or suffer the consequences!"

Wow Dude, you are a true humanitarian. Yeah, messing with a girl, on a scooter in rush hour traffic, you are the MAN! No one beeps at you and lives to tell about it! YEAH! you testosterone-laden imbecile.

I tell you now... nameless J-hole... you feckless piece of meat, you herpes sore on the face of human race, you breeder of now and future idiot children. You dingle berry on the butt of the gene pool Enjoy your great triumph. Yeah you are a winner! You WIN!!! You get to drive your car in front of me...while I ride my house.. (which is paid for), on my scooter, (which is paid for) and enjoy my life, because God gave me the talent, the ability, and the grace to deal with jerks like you on a daily basis.

I am sure EVERYONE who lives in your Hillbilly Haven will love to hear about your great road rage battle with a 126 lb woman on a scooter during rush hour. What a HERO!

You're Number One!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Electric Scooter Company in Ann Arbor MI makes it's mark

Ann Arbor Company Building Electric Bikes:

Since I grew up in between Detroit and Ann Arbor, and I know the current condition of the job market in that area. So I really hope this company takes off. But you just don't see scooters in Michigan like you do here in Illinois. I might see a few scooters a week during my commute to Midway, and I have seen quite a few of them downtown. But in all my trips back and forth to Michigan, I think I have seen one scooter on the road.

I am hoping I am wrong, but with the depressed economy, it will be hard to see these scooters in a state where the inhabitants are already running on empty.

Friday, August 5, 2011

NonPlayer Comic - Very Interesting Scooter Concepts

Hmmm which do I want, Futuristic Scooter or Floating Swan!

Nate Simpson, wunderkind of the Comic World has previewed his latest work much to the delight of nerds across the universe.

He recently presented advance copies of his new comic, Nonplayer #1 at WonderCon this weekend. Filled with lush colors and complex images while, hinting at mulit-layered stories and characters, Nonplayer is already being scoped by Hollywood as a possible feature film!

Check this out: Nonplayer is a series about a Tamale Delivery Girl in the future is apparantly a "an Uber Bad Azz in the future worlds latest and greatest "simulated life/computer game" called Warrior of Jarvath.

I have to say, both the scooter concepts have it goin' on! ATGATT girl on the futuristic scooter plus an Elven Qween on the Floating Swan! I want them BOTH! I can just see me riding my Floating Swan down the I-55 into work! Stay back Trucks... I am riding a FRICK'n SWAN!!!!

I am already liking this... Butt-Kickin' Tamale Delivery Girl stuff! You know those tamales bring on the spicy action!

See more at:

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Detroit Thunderdrome Rat Racer Glory!

Detroit Thunderdrome!!! Fastest way to a compound fracture!

Behold ravenous rat racers and lovers of busted-A$$ cheap beaters. Here be the abandoned Dorais Velodrome in Detroit Michigan, now reclaimed by a bunch of Rat Racers and partially restored to it's former Bone Smashing, Butt Scraping GLORY!

For a few years now, the brave/fool-hardy have been racing on the broken slopes of this TOW-up, pothole ridden and graffiti covered mess found in north Detroit.

These rat races were created by professional auto journalists Andy Didorosi and Ben Wojdyla after re-discovering the abandoned velodrome while working for a volunteer "Mowing Gang" that is cleaning up Detroit.

"When we first saw it, we thought it would be great to take out mini bikes around. Then we decided to tell our friends. Once the Detroit News put us on the front page, everything exploded." said Didirosi in a previous interview.

The Velodrome was constructed in 1968 and has fallen into disrepair since the 1990's. Didirosi and Wojdyla dealt with the Parks-n-Rec nay-sayers, then organized a clean-up & repair in 2010 and now the track is (semi) ready for the brave and foolish to test their mettle.

The race classes include scooters, go carts, pit bikes, mopeds, mountain bike, and single speed messenger bikes.

Stop by the Motor City September 10th and give it a try kiddies... if you have the ballz!