The CLASSIC NOOB CRASH! GOING WHERE YOU ARE LOOKING!

Enjoy the Duma$$ery of this little video. "Scooter Power!"

Now watch it again and let me break down the Duma$$ery for you.

NOOB ALERT #1:

As the first scooter comes around the corner, you can see that the guy is a total Noob. The scoot is wavering but at least he keeps it under control. Your first sign of possible trouble.

NOOB ALERT #2:

As we know, NOOBs often run in pairs. And sho nuff, here comes NOOB #2 taking the corner WIDE. Now you know there will be TROUBLE!

DUMA$$ BREAK-DOWN:

As the girl begins her turn, you can see that she is NOT looking where she SHOULD BE going.

A. It is important for scooter riders to turn their head and focus on where they are going. You can see she is turning the scooter like a car, very stiff, with no lean.

B. She is also not looking beyond her front wheel while turning. It is important that you scan ahead while riding to help you navigate properly.

C. Surprised by Yelling Scooterist, she does two things at once - she over-twists the throttle and Target Fixates.

(POINTS TO REMEMBER: In a 'PANIC" Situation. Just take your hand OFF THE THROTTLE AND SLOW DOWN!)

Okay - After she over twists the throttle she then falls into another noob mistake. TARGET FIXATION. She sees the object up ahead and panics.

From Wikipedia:

Target fixation..."in an avoidance scenario, the observer can become so fixated on the target that they will forget to take the necessary action to avoid it, thus colliding with the object.

This is a common issue for motorcyclists and mountain bikers. A motorcycle or bicycle will tend to go where the rider is looking; if the rider is overly focused on an obstacle, the cycle can collide with that object simply because of the rider's focus on it, even though the rider is ostensibly trying to avoid it."

DUMA$$ERY SUMMATION:

CRASH!

I rest my case.

HOW TO AVOID A CRASH LIKE THIS:

1. Look where you want the scooter to go. Turn your head and lean.

2. If you are startled or panic, take your hand off the throttle.

3. Focus on the area next to a Target, that is where you want to steer your scooter. This takes a bit of metal dexterity, but you can do it.

SCOOTER HIJACK - or Friends don't let Friends Ride their SCOOTERS! So Don't ASK!

In which our heroine learns not to lend out scooter rides to NOOBs!

I let a friend ride my scooter...once. She had seen how much fun I was having riding my scooter and she begged me to let her give it a try.

Being a NOOB myself, and not knowing any better, I told her to dress properly and meet me in the school parking lot. My plan was to take her through the introductory / basic steps taught to me by Scooter School and the MSF course and then maybe let her ride the scooter around the parking lot at the end of the session.

Just like the MSF/Scooter Classes, I wanted to start off by having her just sit on the scooter and get familar with the machine. Then I would point out all the features and have her duck walk it across the parking lot and back. Sloowwww and easy.... That was my plan, just like the classes. One step at a time. I was pretty excited to teach someone all I had learned.

I should have known better, because as soon as she sat down on my scooter, she grabbed the key, "This is how it starts right?" she asked eagerly.

"Yep, but first we....." I barely replied when she started the scooter and drove off!

Yep, off she went! Right across the parking lot over the grassy medium, into the other parking lot and around the school out of my sight!

I just stood there, my mouth hanging open like a total DORK!

Finally she came carrooming back from the other side of the school. She must have gone from parking lot to parking lot. All the while she had her feet hanging down an inch from the ground and possible disaster and injury.

"Pick your feet up! and Come back!" I yelled and waved my arms like a mad person.

She came back and screeched to a stop. Thank you Jeezbus! Praize the Lawd!

But before I could tell her to get off, she took off again! This time she went UP ONTO THE SCHOOL SIDEWALK! and attempted to weave in and out of the plastic orange parking pylons. Again, her feet were hanging down the entire time, dangerously close to scraping the ground or getting caught on a pylon.

This was positively CRAPTASTIC! I think I was having a seizure. I was actually clutching and unclutching my hands in the air while dancing around like a crazed ferret.

Somehow I maintained my cool and when she came back I grabbed the handlebars. "Okay.....now do you see how it works?" I asked her through gritted teeth.

She was all smiles! She thought it was GREAT! She just kept saying how easy it was and how she could see why I liked it so much. She had a great time, I almost had a stroke.

People, Scooters are NOT TOYS! They are VERY EXPENSIVE VEHICLES! Costing as much as some motorcycles or more. You can easily get hurt or destroy someone's property so RESPECT THE SCOOTER AND RESPECT THE OWNER!